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Thursday, 27 August 2009

  • ugh fight after fight

    So well I've had another fight with a friend. It seems like he and I have these fights every other month. I'm pretty much done with the friendship. I'm tired of always lending money to him to argue about that. I'm tired of him thinking I'm always personally attacking him and I'm tired of him talking to everyone else about the problem he has with me instead of just coming to me. He is far too sensitive for me to deal with. I don't like to have to watch every word I say. I'm a sarcastic asshole when I'm joking and I won't change who I am because he can't take it. Everyone else understands I'm being sarcastic and don't mean it and so he should understand it too. I mean for Christ sake we are all in our 20's now. I'm tired of this childish shit. I wanted to talk to him yesturday about it face to face but he wouldn't. He wanted to handle it over it aim. What are we fucking 13 and living 100s of miles away? We were sitting across the room from each other and he couldn't talk it out like a fucking adult. Its rediculous. I'm so through with it. I'm giving it one more shot but if he wants to be a prissy queen the rest of our lives then he won't have me around.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

  • those we can't save

    Today I got my first hard lesson in saving animals. You can't save everyone and even though you find them sometimes it is too late. Harold was my first dog to be humainly put down at work. I will noy mention where I work in these post because that isn't the important part. Just know it is largely a no kill shelter and only extreme cases end this way.

    Harold was a dog with problems. Somewhere at sometime (most likely as a puppy) something happened that made him snap. Harold on most days and with most people was a sweet dog. He has been at the shelter for some time (more than a month) and in this time his problems surfaced. Harold was randomly aggressive. He did not target certain people or strike at certain times. Nothing showed up in his behavior examine to make people think he would be bad. However, one day he lunged. Not sure which form of aggression happened first (dog or people) but either way one escaladed into the other. He would lung at attack at subjects even 25 ft away. When it became clear his strike were randomm and not specific and nothing was helping him a meeting was called. At this meeting it was decided he could not be adopted. When all other options lead to nothing ethanasia was the only thing to keep Harold from hurt someone

    Today was Harold's last day one earth. I was there for his last hour. I sat and played with a dog who showed no sign of aggression to 5 different people. We played, scratched, and fed him. As he slipted away we all had our moments. This was my first and so I something hit me and I broke down. I didn't cry much at first. I left the room and as soon as I was alone in the stairwell I sobbed. It was then something changed. I realized I must fight to help dogs like Harold have a chance. If someone would have properly cared for Harold early on today would have never happened. He would been the working dog he was meant to be. I realized while playing deep down he wanted to be good he just didn't know how. No one had shown him early on what was ok and what was not. Due to this we lost Harold a beautiful hound/pointer mix.

    My job is more than a job. Today it became a lifestyle.

Friday, 03 July 2009

  • quick update

    Life is good. Starting a website is harder than I thought. Moved to Glenwood for the summer. For you non-New Yorkers its a small town in the county just north of NYC. It takes 15 mins to get into the city by commuter train. Having fun with life. July and August have fun in store. Still working at Pet Co and slowly dieing because of it. Will say may later.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Friday, 24 April 2009

  • battle of the blogs

    I have been using this blog more often than my others. I just feel more free here. I write my heart and mind here and don't care what people say about it.

    Drama has filled my life the last week. More drama than I need. I'm having to have to rethink my life and my choices. I can't keep dealing with other people's problems I have to focus on my own.

    I decided therapy would be best. I need someone who is outside the situation to talk to and lean on. That's it. Loving that the weather is getting warmer. I can't wait for summer.

    Oh and somehow luckily I got my first job in the new york theater. I'm going to work as a production tech. for a small production in the village. I'm going to be working on lights but if they need me for either of the two improv scenes they will get someone else to run the light board and I'll do the improv stuff. Its a crazy fun show.

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eliwilk

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    • Name: Elizabeth
    • Birthday: 3/21/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/7/2005

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  • I'm just a young adult tring to make it in this big world.

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